Fitting Into Feminism - Trigger warning

It seemed like it was either too big, 

Or too small. 

Or it just didn't fit right. 

Sometimes it looked great on someone else, 

Just not on me. 

I tried to distance myself, 

But it's funny how, 

When we distance ourselves, 

Pandora's box seems to open... 

My professor said she owns a t-shirt, 

Which says: 

"Feminism: The ridiculous idea of equality".

I feel extraordinarily conflicted by this statement. 

I don't think I can fit into her t-shirt. 

Not only because of our difference in figures. 

But my feelings about feminism, 

Cannot fit onto one shirt, 

Let alone one statement... 

For many years, 

Feminist discourse permeated most things I did, 

However, I dared not to call it feminism. 

It was fascinating to me how people, 

Would agree to feminist concepts, 

BUT DON'T CALL IT "FEMINISM".

I recall the horrible feeling, 

After I realized,

I had been taken advantage of., 

By a man. 

A man I knew. 

I am used to taking responsibility for my actions,

In fact, I do.  

That doesn't mean he isn't responsible for his. 

So while I thought 

I would never fit into feminism, 

Here it is. 

My safety net. 

My makeshift mother, 

Who protects me and understands me. 

Who does not judge me, 

And sees the context of my life, 

In a broader lens than one situation.

Just like feminism, 

I am complex. 

But I am not a feminist. 

I do not define, 

What a feminist is. 

There is no such thing, 

As a "feminist". 

I am finding my feminism, 

By practicing feminism.  

Feminism is not just an identity. 

It is an action. 

It is not a t-shirt. 

It is not "one-size fits all". 

It is complex, 

Just like me.