Fitting Into Feminism - Trigger warning

It seemed like it was either too big, 

Or too small. 

Or it just didn't fit right. 

Sometimes it looked great on someone else, 

Just not on me. 

I tried to distance myself, 

But it's funny how, 

When we distance ourselves, 

Pandora's box seems to open... 

My professor said she owns a t-shirt, 

Which says: 

"Feminism: The ridiculous idea of equality".

I feel extraordinarily conflicted by this statement. 

I don't think I can fit into her t-shirt. 

Not only because of our difference in figures. 

But my feelings about feminism, 

Cannot fit onto one shirt, 

Let alone one statement... 

For many years, 

Feminist discourse permeated most things I did, 

However, I dared not to call it feminism. 

It was fascinating to me how people, 

Would agree to feminist concepts, 

BUT DON'T CALL IT "FEMINISM".

I recall the horrible feeling, 

After I realized,

I had been taken advantage of., 

By a man. 

A man I knew. 

I am used to taking responsibility for my actions,

In fact, I do.  

That doesn't mean he isn't responsible for his. 

So while I thought 

I would never fit into feminism, 

Here it is. 

My safety net. 

My makeshift mother, 

Who protects me and understands me. 

Who does not judge me, 

And sees the context of my life, 

In a broader lens than one situation.

Just like feminism, 

I am complex. 

But I am not a feminist. 

I do not define, 

What a feminist is. 

There is no such thing, 

As a "feminist". 

I am finding my feminism, 

By practicing feminism.  

Feminism is not just an identity. 

It is an action. 

It is not a t-shirt. 

It is not "one-size fits all". 

It is complex, 

Just like me. 

 

Really feeling this tune today.

Funny how sometimes we just need to listen to a song over and over..... usually it is not until later that I find out how relevant it really was.

Enjoy!

Mirrors

One of my favourite poems

As I lay in my bed feeling awful from whatever bacteria/virus is currently taking over my body, I listen to one of my favourite spoken word artists. I saw him before he became all famous in a little show in a little town and when he performed this poem I cried at the part about hearts shaped like jars... I hope you enjoy and find some solace in it.

More Often Than Sometimes

Good night world.

Tell me Mr. Prime Minister, what are you going to do?

Not Worthy of a News Story

This song is about missing and murdered Indigenous women. It speaks to resistance, white privilege, and a situation that has affected about 1,000 women. That's the "official" number anyways. 

I invite you to educate yourself further if you are not aware of this issue. Here are some places to start your educative journey: 

Sisters in Spirit

Missing Alerts

Take care world! 

Sometimes we aren't ready to make nice, and this is totally okay.

Not Ready to Make Nice by Dixie Chicks

I recommend you listen to this track on repeat while reading.

Sometimes we get pissed. Pissed at the world, pissed at our partners, pissed at the government, pissed at our kids, pissed at our boss, pissed at "fill in the blank". 

If you find you are pissed off all the time, I invite you to examine why these feelings are so prominent. That is a bigger problem that requires a different conversation that the one here today. 

The kind of pissed I am referencing here is when our blood boils, our cheeks flush, and our brain sees red. Okay, maybe it's not that extreme; however the point is that this is temporary "pissedness" I am talking about, not constant. 

To all those people who say that it's not good to get angry... I say this in the most polite way I can: 

To hell with you! 

Getting angry is important. It's a release of tensions, the toxic things we've been hold onto, in some cases it can be the first step in healing the traumas in your life. 

I want to talk about healthy ways to release our anger. Anger that is bottled is like cancer that we spoon feed to grow with our denial of it. Anger is not something that is meant to stay inside our bodies. Why else is stress the number one cause of illness? 

I will share with you my well kept secret about how I release my anger in a healthy, non violent way that does not negatively affect others. 

Music. 

While the Dixie Chicks are great for f*** you songs, there are so many that are great to lip sync or sing at the top of your lungs. I will plug in my headphones and pretend I am on stage singing to an audience, dancing around and making a total fool of myself in my bedroom. 

But you know what? It feels so fucking good to release any anger I have! 

Have you ever noticed what happens after people get in fights with each other? They cool down, and become rational with time. If you do not release your emotions that do not serve you in a positive way, your anger and your emotions will rule you. I am not saying that your emotions are not valuable in your every day decision making, however when your emotions rule you more than you rule yourself: 

Houston, we have a problem.  

Here are some more of my favourite anger songs (warning there may be a few swears here and there): 

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Gun Powder and Lead - Miranda Lambert

Talking to Myself - Eminem ft. Koby

Cee Lo Green - Fuck You

Eamon - I Don't Want You Back

Comment your best anger songs! Always good to add to the list. I personally like the ones with good lip syncing possibilities..... 

Take care world!